Family.

You may be able to tell this from reading past posts, or just from knowing me, but family is really important to me.  I wouldn't be who I am or where I am if it weren't for my family.  I will always hold them closest to my heart, and would drop everything to be anywhere for them in an instant.  Growing up you don't realize how lucky you are to see these amazing people every single day. And growing up I wished I didn't have to sometimes.  Looking back I hate to admit that, but I'm not going to pretend every day was carrot cake and pool fun.  Everyone has growing pains.  But I see so clearly how fortunate I am now that I wake up everyday without any option of seeing them.  Photos help.  Facetime helps. Phone calls help.  But it's never the same.  We will never be 5 people living under the same roof again.  And although I'm very okay with that, I do fully see the unique opportunity growing up gave us.

People often talk about their "work family" or their "friends as family" or common with CRPs and CPs, their "Florida Family."  We grow and move and change and create these bonds with people who are incredible and wonderful and we form very close friendships.  I am lucky enough to have created friendships and met people dear enough to include me in these 'families,' especially being so far from my own.

I work with some absolutely beautiful people, with huge hearts and goals, ambitions and smiles.  We have a wonderful time together, and it's good, because we also spend a ridiculous amount of time together.  We spend so much time working that we almost have two lives, our work life and our home life.  I spend more time with my colleagues than I do with my boyfriend, or my friends, combined.   I know that's the way of the world, but isn't it interesting? You spend all this time with these people, day after day, week after week - all so that you can have a little extra time and money to spend with the ones you love.  The ones you choose to spend your time with.  I'm lucky that those I'm designated to spend time with are great.  I know everyone isn't that lucky.

Florida is full of transplanted people.  Not many people I know are originally from Florida; therefore lucky enough to have their families down here as well.  Due to this, many friends circles turn into a Florida family - the people who are there for you down here.  I have some friendships that I depend on a lot, and I am so thankful for.  I can't believe the luck in finding these other people who understand me and love me just the quirky way I am.

Francel is one of the few to be a Floridian, and although his whole family isn't here now, they do get the chance to be together more often.  The love in his family radiates off all of them.  Nothing makes Francel happier than getting to hang out with his family.  And I completely understand why.  They have the strongest bond, the greatest time together and are all in love with each other, all so proud of each other, and always there for each other.  I've been blessed to be welcomed by this incredible family and I know how lucky it is to love your boyfriend's parents.  There is no way you couldn't love Francel's Mom - her joy for life is contagious.  There are no words for how amazing it feels to be a part of this family. 

Then there is our family.  Our family of two.  The beginning, the nucleus of a new family.  One surrounded in the love of all these other families, growing closer and stronger, laying down roots for our future. 

I miss my family.  I'm sure that's abundantly clear.  Everyday I know that I'm missing Clo and James growing bigger, or Carrie's latest vegan recipe.  I'm missing ice cream with Grandma and wine with Grandpa.  I'm missing life lessons with Gar and Kim and playing with the dogs with Dad. I miss everything about my Mum. 

What it comes down to is working everyday to make missing all those things, worth it.  Its pursuing my dreams.  Getting up after every misstep.  It's knowing that my family, all of my families, support me in making everything I've ever hoped for come true.  It's in making the right decision, not the easy decisions. And working hard. every. single. day.

I know not everyone has the best relationships with their families, I haven't always.  But I do know how lucky, how blessed, how special it is, to have the love and support of such incredible people.

I am so grateful for all of my families, for all of the people who take a piece of their hearts to care about me.  Thank you.  I love you.  

Kindness & Excitement

Since my last post about media sensationalism was a little heavy, this post is a lot more happy! Especially because I JUST finished my LAST EXAM!!! How exciting is that?!  I just finished my first full year at university in the states.  It was a long road to get here and without sounding full of myself, I'm pretty proud of the fact that I set a huge goal and with the help of lots of amazing people, am well on my way to accomplishing it!

I had a heavy heart last week.  Since last weekend, I have been overwhelmed with generosity and love; both for myself and for others. It started with a beautiful article I read about a Disney Cast member(s) who went above and beyond to create an amazing experience for some sweet girls who had to experience a horrible tragedy.  You can read it here:

Boston Marathon, Sandy Hook & the 3:00 o'clock Parade

It makes you believe in the good.  The good that fills this world and will always continue to be there.  There is a lot of sad and a lot of bad, but there is so much good that we cannot let ourselves lose sight of.  There is also this Youtube video that I absolutely love:

Restore your Faith in Humanity

This weekend I got to see the Director of the Mahima Care Home talk about what they do, what it's like, and the difference it is making.  The Mahima Care Home is a Kolkata-based girl rescue and rehabilitation home that addresses the grave injustice of sexual slavery, by providing a safe home for girls who have been rescued from the sex trade. This lady actually goes into the establishments with a team and the police and take young girls out of the sex trade and provide a place for them to live, be loved, be educated and feel safe.  It was really inspiring to hear and it makes you believe there are people being the change in the world.  

One of my friends accomplished something very important to her and super exciting, and we had a little get together to celebrate! You could tell how excited and happy she was, something I haven't seen in a while, and it was really great.  

Personally I've been showered with love as well.  I strolled into work last week, getting set up, looking for things in draws and turn around to all my co-workers with red and white balloons and a birthday cake!! They all sang and we had cake and I just couldn't believe it! I was so surprised!!

Two of my favourite ladies sent me packages in the mail, making me feel the love from 3000 miles away.  I haven't opened them yet though.  I also got a package from my parents! So fun!

I got to see my niece gallop like a horse around her new house, flutter like a butterfly, attempt to give me a house tour which was a lot of spinning and chin shots, and hear her say "Katie" over and over in the most amazing voice ever.  Hearing your name said by a little munchkin that you love? AMAZING.  There is little that can outdo the videos and pictures I've gotten of Clo lately.  She can carry on conversations! and runs around in her adorable little outfits.  Told me all about bumping her head.  She's so logical and has the most mischievous, glorious laugh that you can't help but smile about.  Even though the laugh came after a little hair pulling... She's incredible.  

Two of my dear friends in Florida have been planning a birthday celebration for me on Friday and Saturday, and last week they let it slip what we're doing.  We're going to be staying at the Grand Floridian CLUB LEVEL! I can't even believe it. I'm still in shock and still can't wrap my mind around it.  Then on Saturday we're going for Tea which I'm SO excited for! Saturday night my boyfriend takes over for dinner :) How incredible?  I'm in shock.

But it keeps going, because Sunday is when we leave for Miami, and Monday is our cruise! (Still can't believe that one either!!!!)  AND Disney announced both Disneyland and California Adventure are going to be open for 24 hours while we're there!!! SO I will have been able to spend 24 hours straight in both Magic Kingdom & Disneyland if I can convince Francel... Epic Disney Geek status. :D

How can your heart not be overflowing when you are ambushed with so much love from so many places?  I will mention that in there also Francel and I went to a movie.  After the movie I really wanted Menchie's.  It's frozen yougurt where you get to add your own toppings and they have lots of yummy flavours. I didn't want to recommend it though.  Francel opened my car door (how cute is that? Such a gentleman :) ) and then as he was walking to his side of the car I said to myself "ice cream ice cream ice cream."  When he got in his side he looked at me and said, 'do you want to get some ice cream?" I was in SHOCK! There is no way he heard me because i said it inside my head (and he was outside of the car ;) ).  I thought he was going to want cold stone, which is good, but super ICE CREAM whereas Menchie's is more froyo.  And what did he suggest? MENCHIES! So happy. lol.  I told him I'd been thinking about it and he said he just kind of got a craving while getting in the car.  EPIC.  Ask and you shall receive? 

Overall it's been an amazing week, I haven't even hit everything.  I attended a 40th birthday party where I only knew the birthday boy and his husband and one other person who left before me, and everyone was so nice and so inclusive! They asked all about school and work and were genuinely excited when I told them about my concierge job.  I LOVE friendly strangers! It was such a great afternoon. I also officially finished moving in to my new place, with the help of an amazing friend.  

So you can see how one week can make a huge difference.  The end of the semester relieves a lot of stress, and the overwhelming power of love has really left me nearly speechless this week.  Sometimes it's hard to not get caught up in all the hardship, in the ever changing visa information, the tragedies in the world, and the friends who weren't worth it.  However, if you just stop for a moment, you can see the love.  It's all around us. It's on the internet, it's in the last 5 minutes of the news, its on the faces of strangers and its in the incredible people who you surround yourself with.  Life is good. Especially today :)

Crunch Time!

April! Can you believe it?? This month is going to be JAM PACKED with.... HOMEWORK.  Yup, it's my last month of my semester and you know what that means. So many essays. So many projects. So many exams.  It's as if the professors decide to throw all the assignments in the last month, just to make you really work for it before those evil exams.  However once the month is over, May is going to be incredible.  So it's nose to the grindstone knowing an incredible reward is waiting at the end.

It's also my last month as a 23 year old.  I'm about to leave my early twenties and secure a spot in my mid twenties.  That's just frightening.  Life evaluation time!!!
...not right now.  We'll leave the pondering of life for May when my mind isn't crammed full of guest service quilts, service blogs, theme park projects, english papers (so many murderers in that one!), lodging tests and all that good stuff.

This month will be a bit quite on the blog as I work hard on my school work, but expect some great things to follow.  I'll keep you updated on the coolest trip ever, as well as the preparation and beginning of my College Program!!
I did get one step closer to my College Program today by meeting with my internship advisor.  I had to get a letter from her saying the program will count as internships to give to my international student advisor so that it can be added to my visa.

Oh the joys of being foreign :)

I'm really excited though either way.  My mind has been totally consumed with my family lately as well. There isn't an hour that passes that I don't miss them so immensely and wish I could be home.  I know that they strongly support me and what I'm doing, but it's times like this that the 3000 miles separating us feels like so much more.  I love you all so much!

Have a great day everyone! Stay positive! Stay focused! Stay Happy! And spread the love <3 nbsp="">



....this is my 200th post! Woooooo! A writer we'll make of me yet ;)

Happy

Happy Easter!!!!

Hope everyone gets a little time with their families today! Mines hundreds of miles away but right beside me in heart. Love you all!

Oh and check it out... The Easter bunny stopped at our house last night!

Fear

This week has been very hard.
On Monday there was a suicide in the dorms at my university's main campus.  It was in actuality a planned school shooting.  It is said in the news that the student pulled the fire alarm as he was planning to shoot students as they left the building.  The student's roommate heard the fire alarm and came out of his room where he came eye to eye with the gun, ran back into his room and called 911.  The student went into his own room and killed himself.
They found multiple guns, over 200 bullets and self made bombs in his room.  They also reportedly found a bomb in the parking garage next to the apartment tower.
This could have been horrible.  It is horrible, it's a life that's been loss that didn't need to be.  But thinking about what could have happened, what almost happened, so close to home? It's frightening.

I'm writing a paper in english right now about media sensationalism.  It's focused around school shootings and the werther effect that surrounds it, how much the media runs the story and how they always dig into the killer's life and make their names extremely well known.  As this activity unfolded I watched the exact thing I've been researching and writing about come to life.  The Orlando Sentinel was running a story "Who is _______?" digging into the student's past.  The news spread far and fast, where so that I got phone calls and texts from Canada making sure I was okay.  As I sat at work the story was followed hour by hour as new news was released about it.  In the end, it's a tragic suicide, but the effect of the could have been school shooting was everywhere.  It was too close to home.

My campus ran as usual, with some students from main campus missing morning classes due to cancelled shuttles (all of main campus was closed in the morning).  There was discussion of the events everywhere in the halls and study rooms, and to be honest, I couldn't help but look at the door each time it opened.  Death in general makes me feel uneasy.  The fact that is happened at my university, or almost happened at my university, while I was studying it, it all felt a little too close and left me a little uncomfortable.

Today we had an amazing guest speaker in my lodging class discussing Loss Prevention, Security and Safety.  The presenter was scheduled at the beginning of the semester and just so happened to fall two days after the previous mentioned events.  He discussed how he set up the security for all of universal studios then for Rosen Shingle Creek as well as Rosen College.  (Our school has some pretty cool security features!)  He did mention some of the bad things on the job though, how you react to scam artists, burns, cuts, and yes, suicides that happened at resorts he worked.  Again, it was a little too close to home.

It didn't help that we watched 3 Bones the other night that were about sexual harassment, murder and child soldiers.

So my heart has been pretty heavy this week.  And it's reinvoked fears that I've been trying to get over. When I lived in Vancouver I used to not only walk home a couple miles in the dark at night, I used to go for 5+ mile runs at night.  I just tried to step out the door to run, and I was scared. Of what? I don't know.  We live in a regular neighbourhood, with nice houses.  But I couldn't make myself go.  I don't want fear to run my life, and it usually doesn't, but perhaps this is just a week to be okay with things like that. To run in the morning, to appreciate life and to just accept things that aren't up to us.  Sometimes being a little irrational is okay, as long as you don't let it take over.  It won today, it won't win tomorrow.

It's been a rough week.  People don't always understand why I'm so affected by things that have nothing to do with me.  I don't know if it's my compassion, my ability to relate, or my happy world disposition.  I find harming others such a horrifying thought, maybe it's my inability to understand that makes it so hard to deal with.  So I deal with it the best way I can, to write a little about it, get it out of me and onto a page, and somehow that cleanses it away.  I don't forget, but it's not held as closely to my heart.

It's been a tough week.  One that makes you want to reach out and love a little harder, enjoy everything a little more and make sure each day means something.

My love

Dear Francel,

"What do you do for fun? Do you go out?"

That's how we started. Simple enough.  Our first date wasn't suppose to be a date.  It was a favour that turned into a dinner.  It was a dinner full of laughing and talking and smiling.  I remember thinking that I hadn't seen a cuter grin in all my life, and I had the biggest butterflies.  I was so nervous.
Our first actual date was to the movies. Your favourite.  I missed a lot of the movie wondering if you meant to bump my arm, or if you were going to hold my hand.  I still have my movie stub.
An incredible trail of amazing dates followed.  An amazing Italian restaurant where they lit my creme brulee on fire at the table.   Your shirt and tie made my heart skip a beat, as did the way you made me feel the entire night - special. I would tell someone about our day and even I couldn't believe how great it sounded when repeated.  And it really is that great.
There has always been something different.  Of course I was attracted to you, but it was so much more than that.  I had to be around you. It has always felt like finding someone who is suppose to be in my life.  I felt so instantly comfortable telling you all about my life, my dreams, my hopes.  And ever since you've respected and supported them all. I love learning about you too - about your ninja turtle and batman birthday parties, how incredibly important your family is and how hilarious you are (especially when you're over tired)! Sometimes I don't even know what we're laughing about by the end of it, but I know how great it makes me feel.
We've found favourite places together (Cali Grill lounge, Ghiradelli's free chocolate!), discovered new cuisine and decisively decided I need to work on my bowling skills and you on your mini-golf ;)
When you took me to California Grill it took my breath away.  Not the restaurant but you. You take my breath away.  But I got scared.  I was falling in love.
I was so scared to love you.  Love has never worked out before. Now I know nothing in the past ever worked out because I was meant to love you. No one has ever treated me the way you do - when you open the car door on non-special occasions, when you pick up on things I'm excited about and make them happen (This is 40!), when you truly listen to what I say and how I feel, when you support my goals, when you stand up for me, when you pick me up when I fall and helped me turn around that issue. When I can walk in the room and your face lights up with the biggest smile and you pull me into your arms - just the sight of me makes you happy? Just the sight of you makes me happy.
It hasn't all been butterflies and happiness.  We've dealt with some hard things as well.  But those strengthen us, they add to the authenticity of our love, and our life together.  A very wise man told me that if we didn't have struggles we wouldn't fully be able to appreciate the good times.  You were right.  For as many lows as we've had, we have gotten through them together, and we always will.
You made my holidays.  Being 3300 miles away from my family and friends is tough. The holidays make it tougher.  Osborne Lights. Making egg nog. Grinchmas. Be Our Guest Restaurant  Mickey's Christmas Party. The Rose & Crown and Candlelight.  California Grill lounge with Holiday Wishes. Your love is astonishing.  And the thing is, all of these things were breathtakingly beautiful, fun, incredible and amazing - but the best part of all of it, the part of all of it that matters, is that I got to do it with you.
I can't even start to describe New Years Eve. I had never been so sure that I wanted to spend a year, the rest of my years, with someone as  I was when 2013 began.
Ice cream at home. Cooking at home.  Baking at home. Watching our favourite shows.  Watching movies from our childhood.  Me watching your scary movies, you watching my girly movies. Bowling. Mini-golf. Walking around the mall. Slushy mango wine. Breakfast in bed.
Spending the night in with you is one of the best dates we ever have.
I love you. I'm in love with you. I will love you for the rest of my life.  You have had a larger impact on me in our time together than I ever thought possible.  You make me want to be a better version of myself, you taught me to trust, to open up and to allow myself to accept your love in return.
I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for showing me a real relationship. Thank you for loving me- flaws and past included. Thank you for laughing at my dorky jokes. Thank you for making me feel like I can conquer the world with one hand when you're holding the other.
I am absolutely in love with you, and I cannot wait for our future together, and all the incredible adventures ahead.
Forever you'll be my always,
Kate

Sisters

Three girls. Brought up in the same home, with the same values, same parents, same town, same chances. You could argue that it wasn't all the same- that the shift in world events, place in the family, and economic turns raised us differently. But those aren't the real things that shape you I feel, they are factors, but in general, we began in very similar places.

We were all encouraged to do our best at everything we tried. We were encouraged to finish what we started and do well in school. We were taught to speak well and present ourselves well. We were taught honesty, trust, love and the importance of family.

Yet we are all completely different.

I am the loud one. Apparently. The showboat. The entertainer. The comedian. The dreamer?

Carrie is the quiet one. This I know isn't true. But to the world I guess, the quieter one. The analytical one. The explorer. The world changing one.

Kim is the one who broke all the barriers so Carrie and I could do whatever we wanted. She is the lover, the family first, the artistic one. She's done everything and tries everything at least once. She has great drive once her mind is set.

How are we so different? Yet we are also very much alike. We share a bond stronger than almost any possible to create. We can be placed anywhere together and have the greatest time. Kim and Carrie are just as funny as I am. Kim has travelled around the world as Carrie has. I can set my mind on something and follow it until it happens too. We all have our strongest tendencies, or the qualities the outside world would notice first - but we also have a vibrant web of interlocking characteristics that make it so blatantly obvious our bond is stronger and tighter than most. Sisters. It's one of the worlds biggest blessings.

We are different though. Kim has a blossoming career and incredible family 5000 miles away from Carrie who is pursuing a masters degree 3000 miles away from me chasing my Disney dreams.

Our lives have pulled us to three opposing sides of the continent. Three girls who grew up with the same values, family, home, environment - stretched across North America by their dreams. Distance in miles does not calculate to distance in heart. I know my sisters are always with me. We've grown up but not apart. My big sisters will always be my sources of inspiration, sources of pride and sources of wisdom, love and friendship.

How do you tell someone the impact they have had on your life? How do you tell them that everyday, although miles apart, you still call upon everything they have taught you through the years to accomplish what you're doing? We don't get to talk everyday like we did when we lived together. We don't get to know exactly what's happening all the time. We don't get to share White Spot or watch HGTV/TLC or bake or workout together.

My dearest sisters. My Kimbob and Carebear.

(I once got Kim a pooh bear glass for Christmas and wrapped frozen juice mix to go with it... Stored it in the freezer until it was time to open gifts. I thought it was a brilliant gift at the time.... Gotta love little sisters eh?)

I hope you two know how much I truly appreciate you. How much I love you and look up to you. If I didn't have such incredibly strong woman to look up to I wouldn't be me. Your constant support, your encouragement, your tough love, your friendship - it leaves me speechless. And as the family talker - you know how hard it is to make me quiet ;)

I miss you so entirely. I'm so proud of the way you live your lives and the things you're accomplishing. There are few bonds as strong as the three little girls from Fedoruk Road turn Roy Creek Road who grew into three beautiful women from Vancouver, Halifax and Orlando. Distance is nothing. I love you two!!

Cheesy

How do you sum up the affect someone can have on you in a way that is articulate, and honest while truly portraying how you feel without being overly cheesy? It hits me at random moments the things that I love about them. The one today that stopped me in my racing mind of thoughts was the way he reads off numbers. How bizarrely random is that? But since he was grossly sick this weekend (spoiler alert for how I spent my weekend), he listed off numbers on the phone every morning. I somewhat noticed the infliction in the way he dictated the numbers. Last night when he was reading off a confirmation number for my sister's upcoming trip it entered the forefront of my mind for a moment and a faint smile crossed my face before my mind started spinning again. Then today, waiting for class to start, it appeared out of nowhere. I sent a quick message saying when I would be done, and then I thought to myself. I love the way his voice sounds when he tells people numbers. It's the tone, the groupings, the way it sounds so friendly whether he's sick or smiling. It's part of a greater love I feel for him, and I know it's a random small thing. A bizarre point to pick up on. Maybe I'm in that stage of love where everything is cute and everything is wonderful, but it doesn't feel like that. It feels like I really just appreciate the random ins and outs of this person. And this is just another tiny part of the billions of little things that all together create their being.

This was today's random realization, or actualization of our relationship. He probably doesn't even hear himself doing it. But it makes him who he is, and I like it. I do realize that entire thought pattern was extremely cheesy, but it was also honest. Are their things that aren't as cute and cuddly? Yes. But we can discuss them and have everything out in the open. More than anything this relationship has taught me how important it is to be honest. Or the relationships around us and behind us have made going into this one being open and honest a necessity. Which then circles back to how cheesily happy I feel that we can be honest with each other.

I started this post with Valentines Day in mind. A holiday created to quantify your love for your significant other through gifts or experiences. How do you put how you feel into a gift? Maybe that's why I always put so much emphasis on cards. I know it's important to show how you feel, but you do that everyday in your actions and daily life. I like cards because sometimes it's nice to have a blatant reminder you can read over and over of how much you mean and how greatly appreciated your commitment to one another is.  It's still a couple weeks off, which is good, because I haven't got a clue what to do.

Strength

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” 
-Marilyn Monroe

You're going to get kicked in the teeth.  You're going to fail.  You're going to feel like there is no way all the dreams you've dreamt can come true.  But when you fall seven times, you have to get up eight.  It's not an easy life - nothing easy is ever worth it.  If you follow a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. 

Everyone has a story, everyone has hard knocks and scars. We know what people have done, not what we've been through.   You can't get through life unscathed.  It's continuously moving forward, striving to make what you do worth something - your actions should mean something as you are giving an hour or a day of your life for them. 

A truth that I find hard to realize is this one:
"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens."

I worry and I plan.  I stress about what has happened, how I'm viewed, what I've done and what has been done to me.  There are things I can barely speak of and things I speak of too often. At 23 I think I've been through a fair bit, yet as it says above, people can know you're story without knowing what's really happened.  I imagine myself to others as a self assured, ambitious, outgoing, happy person trying to make her goals come true.  To myself I'm ambitious, awkward, happy, and random.  I live amongst the clouds where dreams are reality and everyone likes everyone and things will be okay.  Then I rapidly tumble towards reality and fear the present, fear the future and fear the past will hold me back.  I worry about money. I worry about not being as great as I hope. I worry about not accomplishing what I've set out to. I worry about giving up my dreams. I worry about new dreams replacing old ones and leaving me forever saying 'what if.'  I worry about my external image and the self brand I'm creating.  I worry about my appearance. I worry about the people I associate with and if I'm surrounding myself with those who will improve me or those who will hold me back.  I worry about my family being so far away. I worry about my friends forgetting me or replacing me.  I worry about my weight.  I worry about my height.  I worry about the amount of water I drink and if I've had enough nutrients and protein.  I worry about my bones because I don't like dairy. I worry about the white lies to keep others from worrying.  I worry I'll carry the chips from the past forever.  I worry about who I love. I worry about their happiness. I worry about having my heart broken. I worry. I'm not good at taking things as they come.  I need a plan for the day. A plan for the week. A plan for the month. A plan for the year. A plan for the next 5 years, and the 5 after that. A plan for my future.

I want to be honest. I want to radiate truth. But not the mean truth. The truth of happiness, kindness, treating others as you want to be treated and believing that everyone is good and means well.  You can get trampled being this way - and I have - but in the end a life of openness and love is better than a life of bitterness and being closed off. 

There will never be enough money. The day I'm as great as I think I can be, is the day I've stopped dreaming.  I have faith in myself - a unbreakable though sometimes hidden faith. 'What ifs' will always be there - no matter what you choose. I want to live with intention and integrity - I actively think about being like Uncle Scrooge at the end of Scrooge.  I may not have been perfect all my life, and I won't start being now, but I can always show kindness, and I can always care.  Accepting how you look is part of accepting who you are.  I'm still going to work out and eat healthy - but I can't change the fact that my nose looks like Kona's or that I have a birthmark oddly centered in the middle of my ankle or that I have a huge escalator scar on my right hand.  Those things will always be there, and I'm going to be okay with it 93% of the time.  Friends should never hold you back, friends should encourage you to be the best you can be, and not weigh you down or pull you away from what's important. I rather have a few incredible friends than a ton of acquaintances.  If the people I think are my friends walk away from my life, then it just means their chapter is over, it doesn't mean the story we had together wasn't worth it.  My family is full of the most amazing people - they have dreams and aspirations of their own. Even if I was in Vancouver or Comox, they all wouldn't be there because they are off chasing dreams as well.  Life isn't stagnant and sometimes you just have to miss people.  Missing someone means they have impacted your life in a positive way, and I rather miss them then not feel what they are and what they've done throughout my life.  It just makes coming back together that much better.

Which leads me to this: the past is the past.  I was hurt, I was cheated on, I had a lot taken away from me, I spiralled, I acted in a way and said things that I'm not proud of, I didn't respect myself.  But that's then and this is now.  It's all a part of growing up. Even the darkest things teach us a lesson. The greatest things in life can blossom out of the worst.  Sometimes things have to fall apart, for better things to come together.
And they have.

Life isn't a game, it can't be won.  It just has to be lead the best way you possibly can.  Day by day.  Plans are good, but pencilled in, because they are going to change. I'm not the girl I was 4 years ago, or 2 years ago or even last August when I returned to this sunshine paradise. I'm stronger, I'm wiser.  Life takes strength.  And I'm strong.

Clodagh was born! Arriving in Orlando...DC11!

April 7th, 2011

Clodagh was born today at 3:04am PST!!! SOOOOOO EXCITING I'M AN AUNTIE!!! She is beautiful, healthy and incredible :)

We left Alabama pretty early as we were really excited to get to Orlando!! We headed south east and found this

Yay!!!

We stopped in Tallahassee to take a look around Florida State University (Go Seminoles!) which was beautiful! The campus was gorgeous and even though we just drove around it had a really good feel. 

 

Pretty Florida Swamps

Then since we made my stop in Tallahassee we headed down to Gator Country for Ashley's stop in Gainesville! 

It was also a pretty campus and had some really cool trees with some moss type stuff hanging off of them (they're the spooky looking trees around the Hollywood Tower Hotel at Hollywood Studios!).  

Then we made our way closer and closer to Orlando! I was super excited when I saw this billboard:

and eventually this sign:

YAY!! We made it!!!

We rolled up to our friends Kristin and Oscar's house around 5pm! Kristin was actually napping when we first knocked, but Ashley awoke her with her fantastic doorbell skills and we hung out by the pool for a while meeting and remeeting their other roommates! Then we ventured down to Downtown Disney and walked around, then found the most delicious slushie drinks at the Hole in the Wall outdoor pub and watched the Magic Kingdom fireworks over the trees from a bench in the evening heat. It was amazing.  Then we picked up Oscar from work and got to see some other familiar faces which was fun :) Then we headed back and crashed!

Disney Challenge Day 11: Favourite Love Song

This one is easy...

I'm not going to analyse it, or think to hard about it. This song and scene are so nice and it's my favourite love song. Although Beauty and the Beast is of course amazing and Belle Notte from Lady and the Tramp. I'm going to throw this video up as well:

and this one from Enchanted is nice as well: